The need to scream!

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I encourage healthy screaming.

Life gets weird, lonely, frightening, hopeless, frustrating, unfair, and so out of whack that sometimes we need to scream because we want someone to hear us. 

But isn’t screaming a little extreme and impolite, you say?

That depends…

If you do not have some type of outlet for things out of your control then it becomes extremely dangerous for your inside self. Most people who have experienced cancer in their lives usually have kept screams inside…

I have been analyzing from my own life and the lives of other people ways we can healthy “scream,” often without straining our vocal chords. Healthy screams are statements we make or actions we do which make a very LOUD statement about something we need to say or to just “let off steam.”

Many people scream out in different ways such as running, competing in or participating in all different types of sports, yoga, meditation, breathing, attending concerts, gardening, driving a car, playing music, dancing, creating something, dressing a certain way, dying their hair, shopping,…etc. 

Regardless of how, if you need to scream choose a healthy safe way. Then let it go!

“Sometimes you just gotta yell and scream. Sometimes it’s the only thing to do. Noisy as a firetruck, you just gotta open up and get the crowds attention turned to you…” (Safety Kids Music)

 

 

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The News

Dear One,

You just got off the phone.

You have received the news.

News you never ever wanted to hear.

Someone you know has the “C” word.

Or it is you…

You heard it but it could not be real!

It can’t be.

How you must feel…

I know.

I felt it too.

You are numb.  In shock!

You may want to cry.  You may feel nothing.

You may want to hit something or scream out loud.

You put your hands to your face and bow your head.

NO!  It can’t be Cancer!

“What do I do now?”

This is the question to be answered from this blog.

Come sit and let us hold on to one another.

This is not only for the newly diagnosed.

It is for the neighbor who wants to know how to help a little.

A friend who wants to know how to help a lot.

A child who feels something is wrong but does not understand and wants to know what to do.

A husband who does not know how to comfort when he is trying to believe it himself.

A parent trying to make it easier for their child but in shock.

A brother, father, or son who does not know how to talk about it if it is female related.

I am a cancer survivor! I have worked very hard to get through my cancer experience using my own gifts, talents, and survival techniques. I am not a therapist, but I am an expert on living through it.  This is a blog to share simple, uplifting tips and ideas with you and give you an invitation to share any uplifting ideas that helped you get through your journey.

What do I do now on this first day?

Here is what you can do today…

Tip #1:  Be still and stay close to somone!

This is the beginning of one step…

take it slow.

You can do this!

Preparing for Surgery

Preparing for surgery, for me, was to run around as fast as I could and do everything possible to not have to think about the nightmare I was living and how afraid I was. From diagnoses to surgery was a 2 1/2 week span during the Christmas holidays and I was trying to forget and go on autopilot by “distractions.”

A dear friend of mine asked me if she could come over and explain how to calm down before surgery. She had been faced with a rare nonmalignant tumor and had her share of adversity. I was bitter, angry, terrified and closed hearted! But she was persistent, patient, and I am sooooo thankful she was both!

This is what she introduced to me.  Prepare for Surgery, Heal Faster by Peggy Huddleston.  I remember sitting on a bean-bag chair with J, in our family’s play room.  I was uninterested,bored and couldn’t wait for her to leave so I could distract myself some more.  I hated sitting quiet!

But I changed in those few moments.  A change that I needed to experience, which pioneered the beginning of being open to many many more changes to come. As I sat and listened to a tape of how this book came to be, and why it was important, I felt this feeling that I NEEDED to hear this.  Without going into too much detail, here are the steps that saved me not only through surgery, but many terrifying procedures that I needed to face that I was unaware at the time.

1.  Your mind is a powerful part of healing and how you think of things will determine how you will heal.  I HAD to change my rage and anger statements to positive statements that were less fearful because I was pumping those negative feelings into my body to feed my anxiety.  Things like “I am so thankful for modern medicine to help me heal.” or “I will be comfortable and heal well,” were more healthy than, “I hate this experience and it is all bad for me!”

2. Emotions and attitudes lesson pain and anxiety.  That is a powerful thought and I wanted to believe it.

3.  The book explains that you can hear during surgery and that it is important to be in a relaxed state for your body to respond at its best. Dr. Huddleston explains to have positive statement told to you during surgery, that you bring to your anesthesiologist to read to you while you are asleep.

4.  She has a 3 step process that helped me so much.

a.  Anchor to peace by listening to a relaxation tape to learn how to calm yourself. This was difficult for me as I was not “in” to yoga and mediation at this time.  Peace speeds recovery and allows for less medications.  I liked this statement because I was not a pill taker.

b.  Think of someone you love and get heart centered.  This brought good feelings of comfort and warmth to your body.

c.  (My favorite) Call on some special people to be your “Pink blanket of Love” and ask them to think or pray for you at the exact time you will be having surgery, a procedure, chemo or radiation.  Tell them it will be at 9:30 a.m. on  this date.  As you are there ready to go into surgery at that very moment, think about that support group sending powerful positive messages to you or praying for you.  As Peggy   puts it, it will feel “utterly delicious and peaceful.” I have done this and it works!  I testify of the power of prayer!

d.  Tell your doctor and anesthesiologist to say positive healing statements during surgery because you can hear them! You are the consumer and you have the right to say what happens to you.

5. Patients who feel empowered by being involved in how they heal do better as they heal.

My friend J gave me a gift that day that I didn’t know I needed.  I am posting it because often, in our fear we stay closed to things that may be the very thing we need.  For me, it was these wellness ideas.  I have passed them along to others.  If you have something that helped you, don’t hesitate but pass it forward.  We need each other.

the tones of life

I never realized what a treasure this one little gift has been from my childhood home after my parents passed away. It sings a familiar tune as the metal tubes sway and tap merrily in the breeze. It lifts me up and takes me to a gentle time and place.

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This thought expresses the blessed tone of my parents’ life music they sang to us.

Let our words be like wind chimes.

Tone is something we hear like wind chimes blowing in the air. What sounds do our words make…? Communication is more than what we say; it is how we say it and how we sound. As much as possible, without forfeiting what we have to say, let our words be music to people’s ears.

Melody Beattie

 

Creating a Ripple

Racking my brain…

My family is at the stage now,

of counting my sweet mother’s breaths…

But I live so far away I could be in mars. At least it feels like it!

I want to be with her for all the last breaths and hold her hand.

She has given me so much, I don’t want her to go.

My mother turns 89 the beginning of Oct.

I want to celebrate her life while she is still with us.

HOW?

Then, I received an angel whisper.

An idea…create a ripple.

Every day for the month of September

leading up to her birthday on Oct. 1st

I am sending

all of her posterity

and brothers and sisters

a Fun Fact about her.

There are over 100 of us.

Everyone has LOVED it! 

Including my mother!

It allows me to do something for her

here on Mars.

It has allowed everyone to know facts about her

they never knew or remember back.

It has created a beautiful ripple

of her life which not only

encircles around her

but

encircles out

to all of us.

Here is a peek:

Grandma trusts all people!

At Ruth and Wade’s wedding reception Ruth told all of Wade’s friends where they were going to spend their wedding night, up in a little cabin in the canyons. That was a mistake! It was common in those days for friends to do a sneak attack on the new couple and knock on windows and yell silly comments. But Wade must have had a good friend who tipped him off. Wade got the last laugh when instead of going to the little cabin, he quickly changed the plans and went to his brother, Keith’s apartment. All his friends went to the canyons…but they weren’t there. Ruth wondered why they didn’t go to the canyons like they planned…

You can still have fun at the end of life….

THE NEWS!

What do I do now?

Dear One,

You just got off the phone.

You have received the news.

News you never ever wanted to hear.

Someone you know has the “C” word.

You heard it but it could not be real!

It can’t be.

How you must feel…

I know.

I felt it too.

You are numb.  In shock!

You may want to cry.  You may feel nothing.

You may want to hit something or scream out loud.

You put your hands to your face and bow your head with a huge sigh.

NO!  It can’t be Cancer!

“What do I do now?”

This is the question to be answered from this blog.

Come sit and let us hold on to one another.

This is not only for the newly diagnosed.

It is for the neighbor who wants to know how to help a little.

A friend who wants to know how to help a…

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