Little Heart

I wish to share one of my favorite writings inspired by two mothers I cherish for mother’s day coming up. One was growing a tiny heart inside next to her own heart suffering from hyperemisis while the other was resting an old loving heart suffering from congestive heart failure. I wrote it with my own pleading heart in a fervent prayer that the hearts I cherish would never stop beating…

It will be one of my children’s books someday…

Written to my unborn grandbaby and my mom in the hospital                                                Dec. 17, 2011

Little Heart


Everyone gets a little heart with their body.  It is like your very own light bulb that turns on when you begin.  You can’t see it on your outside like your pinky finger, but you can feel it on your inside thumping.  Do you want to feel it?  On your body above your belly button you have two heart finder dots.  If you put your hand in the middle of the dots and hold very still, you can feel your heart.  What does it say?  thump  thump  thump… like a drum.

Hearts start like magic.  On one special day your heart turns on and begins to beat while you are growing in your mommy’s tummy.  It never stops while you are alive.  It begins when you are smaller than a little pea like this.

That is an itty bitty heart saying “Hello, I am here!”  thump thump thump…

Your heart can beat fast when you run or jump.  Do you want to feel it?  Hop like a rabbit; 5 HOPS.  Now find your heart finder dots and feel.  Thump!thump!thump!thump!  It will slow down soon.

Your heart can beat really slow too, like when you are sleeping.

Hearts can be different sizes. Even though you can’t see them you can see people with different sized ones.  Grandma has a huge heart even though she is not very big. She is nice. Bad guys who are huge have shriveled up small ones. They are mean. But hearts don’t have to stay one size, they can change anytime.  thump  thump  thump…

Hearts have lots and lots of pockets.  You can feel them on the inside.  All kinds of things get put inside the heart pockets.  Happy and sad things; good and bad things; mad and glad things. Some people hold too many things in their heart pockets and their hearts get very heavy.  You can feel that too.  To empty out some pockets all you have to do is cry.  Your tears carry away all that stuff you don’t need any more in your heart pocket.   thump  thump  thump.

The best thing about everyone’s heart is that they are all made from honey, and chocolate, and peppermint, and marshmallows, and caramel, and syrup, and cherries and sugar because everyone’s heart starts sweet when it is smaller than a pea.  Our hearts get sour only when we stop showing love.  Wrap your arms around me and squeeze—can you feel the sugar?

I love you!

Everyone gets a little heart with their body.  Keep going little heart.  thump  thump  thump.

The Third Thing…

Planet Earth

Look at that! It amazes me every time I see it.

“…but there is a third thing you must do.” said Alice’s grandfather to Alice in the children’s book, Miss Rumfius by Barbara Cooney.

“What is that?” asked Alice.

“You must do something to make the world more beautiful,” said her grandfather.

And when Alice grew old and completed numbers one and two, she decided that she would “complete the third, and the most difficult thing of all. All that summer Miss Rumphius, her pockets full of seeds, wandered over fields and headlands sowing lupines… Fields and hillsides were covered with blue and purple and rose-colored flowers. They bloomed along the highways and down the lanes. Bright patches lay around the schoolhouse and back of the church. down in the hollows and along the stone walls grew the beautiful flowers.”

What is your third thing going to be? Perhaps you are still working on it…

Happy Earth Day Celebration this week!

Cooney, B. (1982). Miss Rumfius. New York, NY: Viking.

You are Beautiful

looking in mirror

We like to look at ourselves in the mirror. We can’t help it. We check to see if broccoli is in our teeth, our clothes look right, or our hair looks good– (if we have hair). Although non of us look perfect we still try to look and evaluate and alter our look to make us feel like we look better.

But cancer attacks from the inside and becomes an interior invasion which is damaging to our “look,” even if the source cannot be seen in a mirror. Even though we judge our outward appearances it is really how we feel from our inside that truly makes “our look.”

When you are told there is an evil darkness lurking under your skin, growing inside of you, there isn’t only an evil demon with one horrific objective  but also a feeling of ugliness that does not show in the mirror but hurts really really badly. You feel ugly and dirty and broken from deep inside and that, I believe is far worse than feeling it on the outside. It attacks who you are made of from the heart and soul.

But, I received some powerful advice about this that I want to share. It is this:

“No one can cut your spirit!”

Nor can they burn, poke, poison, break, radiate, amputate, neuter, sever, etc.

We are made from God. He made us in his image and our spirits are made of the same substance that he is made of; light and love. No matter what happens to the little house we call our body, our spirit is beautiful and always loved.

So for those of you who are feeling this dark, ugliness from the inside because of a diagnosis called cancer I just wanted to remind you…

Your are beautiful inside and out!



An idea for a friend of a cancer patient


 If you would like to do something for a friend going through cancer treatments make up some little baggies of treats that they can bring with them every time they go to the doctor or cancer center.

It does not need to be big. The picture shows tiny bags of about 2 tablespoons of Jelly Belly Beans inside.

Your cancer friend can give them to the valet, to the people who take blood, the ones making appointments, the nurses, the other cancer patients who make them laugh, the doctors, the x-ray technicians, the volunteers who bring them water, the infusion nurses, and so on. 

It is really an uplift to do something for people who are caring for you!!!

It is surprising how much they appreciate the thoughtful gesture, and will give your friend really nice service for doing so.

And besides, if the cancer patient needs a treat they can eat it themselves!  

A little thank you goes a long way.

“Attack” is not good!


Prepped to do some serious heart attacking this week for Random Acts of Kindness…

It was a disaster!

I had planned for a long time to kindness “attack” our crusty crabby postal workers in our community who I felt must really need a thanks and some stroking!

I knew exactly where the hearts would go; right under the counter so everyone in line could see the big heart attack sign, the big thank you, and all the hearts plastered all over the long space.

On Presidents Day I cut out lots and lots of hearts from construction paper, then remembered the post office was closed for the holiday.

I think it was the first sign!

Early the next morning I got up and packed up tape, the big sign, and the bag of hearts and set out to brighten some lives!

The place I was going to do my good-deed was locked. So I waited…in line.

My second red flag. It would not be anonymous!

When I finally reached the counter, I opened a portion of the sign and “ATTACK” was the first word the postal worker saw and she instantly ran in the back room. I sat there smiling, waiting for her to bring out a host of workers that could all crowd around and take photos, smile, pat each other on the back, play the harmonicas, and line dance while all the patrons clapped and cheered!

Instead  a man in a suit came from a door and whisked me quickly away from all the patrons into an area far away from…everything.

He then asked me, “What is this all about?”

I showed him the sign, the hearts, and my now quivering smile and told him I wanted to heart attack my “sweet” postal workers, pointing over in the direction we came, who sent off letters and packages to my loved ones.

He said it was not allowed!

But I could put the sign on that bulletin board “WAY OVER THERE” in the farthest corner of nowhere in the post office. Then he walked away without saying anything else about it.

While I made tape circles and placed each heart one by one in no-man’s land I felt as if I were a balloon which the air was slowly leaking from.

I put up the attack, but the crabby pants postal workers I intended it for never saw it.

I was determined to have someone see it!

I knocked on the, “Picking up mail” door. A big huge postal worker answered it and I asked him to come look at something waaaaay over in the corner. He followed me to the place where I had Random Acts of Kindness Heart Attacked the postal workers in my community to say THANK YOU FOR THEIR SERVICE TO US.

He looked at it, and said, “What is this for.”

By now I had had it and said, “It’s just to say thanks. Could you tell those ladies over there…?”

He forced a smile and walked away without saying anything, and locked the door behind him.

I guess I looked dangerous with my snowman pajama bottoms, my hat with the pom-pom, my K-mart purple 98 cent gloves, my  colorful cut out hearts, my tape circles, and hand written crayola marker poster board…that spelled HEART ATTACK andTHANK-YOU!

Red flag number three: Don’t write the word “attack” with colorful markers and bring it in a government building!