Dear friend, sibling, spouse, or survivor asking this question…

Been Blowing Kisses

Been blowing kisses lately



Blowing to Daffy who is my very first beauty that finally is warm enough to open-

Blowing to my toooot-toot-toot, Lake Tahoe bird singing under my window-

Blowing to mini meadow and peek-a-boo path my old walking friends finally uncovered from snow-

Blowing to Lovely Lake, who literally last week melted her last patches of winter’s ice-

Other’s are blowing, too.

Today I watched a little boy walk the long path into school blowing kisses to a car stuck in school traffic. He blew and blew and blew with exuberance no matter who was watching. When the car passed I expected to see a woman (a mom) blowing back. But it was a man (a dad) and he was blowing back, his arm out the window, with gusto! 

Blow some kisses…

there is so much to love!

The Easter Chat

Sit close

my dear ones.

Please hear my words, even though I am tongue-tied

at what I am trying to express to you.

Many years ago, the Savior of the world

suffered and died for you, and me.

It makes my heart broken to think of it.

We celebrate it now, at the beginning of new life called SpringAt Easter.

But what does it all mean, really?

It is so hard to stop and think about it, and truly understand.

It is the most important moment of all existence!

Too bad we don’t really get it! 

Put simply, our Heavenly Father adores all of us so much but is so pure and special and holy that we cannot come back home to his presence unless someone who is like HIm and just as pure, takes all of our imperfections and somehow, miraculously transforms our ability to be able to return home and be with that loving Father in Heaven, once again.

Once again.


Does that mean we were once with Him before….

And somehow in that “before” place there was a plan which was carried through by this precious soul, named Jesus Christ?

That pure soul volunteered to experience every feeling, every problem, every sin, every torture, every illness, every bad choice, every single imperfection that has and will ever exist caused by the fall of Adam then be tortured for us, and then restore our chance by allowing us to have hope to live eternally. Then be Resurrected to show there is life after we die and we CAN live with Heavenly Father once again!

I know sweethearts.

It is hard for me to fully grasp the intensity of it, too.

Perhaps it is too hard.

But if someone saved your life or saved the life of someone you love. what is the best way to show your appreciation and respect for that person? To remember them always. And not only remember them but to try to be like them. And keep trying to learn more about them.

Let’s take it slowly and think of only today since it is the peaceful day after Jesus’ death.

Today is the middle moment, when the tears have been cried out after the agony of the Atonement and Crucifixion represented yesterday. Anger, as the ones who loved Him, must be pushed to a far away moment of grieving.

It is the time to be silent. The time to reflect on that life once inside that empty lifeless body which now has gone.

It is time to work.

It is the last time to  respectfully touch and gently clean and prepare that body similar to that time long ago, in a manger when HE first arrived.

It is the last time to kiss and caress, say expressions of affection and to shed a few more tears, to say good-bye…

and then

close the tomb.

Not realizing something WONDERFUL is brewing heavenward.

Today is the day when the spirit of the one who has gone on, lingers quietly around those He loves. His presence is felt in the quiet whispers of mourning, the silent ponderings staring into empty spaces of the soul, in embraces of comfort, in rest from emotional exhaustion.

The work is complete.

The burial is over.

It is time to return back to life and try to make sense of death once again.

To try to live life without someone who has changed your life forever…

And then

Easter morning


exactly in the same way

 every single morning opens

the day.

Wait, just one more time to visit the burial scene in the early morning to find comfort from the loss.

But wait…

Where is Jesus Christ?


He shows us HE lives.

The promise is complete.

We have HOPE for eternal life.

What else does this say?

Spiritual Death from the presence of God has been conquered

we can return to live eternally with him once again.

Don’t you see…

Death is not the end of all who die.

Our lives had a purpose long before and has long after this life is done.

We have a Father in Heaven who loves each of us

and waits for us to join him in the heavens!

Sit close my dear ones.

If there is one thing to discover

even though it is difficult to grasp.

Jesus Christ really did this.

And now what we do with this act

of the purest of all love,

is now

up to us!



delight  v. 1 please, gratify, satisfy, gladden, cheer, tickle, amuse, entertain, excite, thrill, captivate,entrance, fascinate, relish, revel in, glory in, love, adore, enjoy, appreciate, like, savor, delectation, bliss, charmed, thrilled, enchanted, rapture, tickled pink, tickled to death, happy

I gave a talk once about DDD (Delight Deficit Disorder)

There is an epidemic!

There is also a cure.

This time of year is the best time to come to grips with it

so healing can be lasting.

It involves a heart attack!

To see what’s deep in there that is creating the deficit.

It involves a “cleanse,” (or two, or three)!

To purge our inside garbage cans.

It involves injections!


It involves partaking of the most lactose fee, gluten free, soy free, whole food, vegan, low carb, pure sugar, low sugar,  low sodium, low cholesterol, low fat, natural-soul pure diet which is labeled the Atonement of Jesus Christ. The true meaning of EASTER!

“Behold, my soul delighteth in proving unto my people the truth of the coming of Christ…and all things which have been given of God from the beginning of the world, unto man, are the typifying of him.

And also my soul delighteth in the  covenants of the Lord which he hath made to our fathers; yea my soul delighteth in his grace and in his justice, and power, and mercy in the great and eternal plan of deliverance from death.

And my soul delighteth in proving unto my people that save Christ should come all men must perish. For if there be no Christ there be no God: and if there be no God we are not, for there could have been no creation.

But there is a God, and he is Christ, and he cometh in the fulness of his own time.

PHEW!  There is a cure for DDD!


Scripture extraced from: (2nd Nephi 11: 4-7) The Book of Mormon

Water into wine? Big deal!

We have become a society of sensationalism!

We are easily bored and distracted.

We are constantly waiting for the rush of a climactic end

that we miss the subtleties in the process which has the ability to alter our lives.

Take magic tricks for example. 

The card with the bus drivers signature, who signed it right in front of you is found on top of the Eiffel Tower in France…”Big deal, seen that one before. Do something even better!”

Take the X-games as another example.

A quadroooople back flip, launched off a mile high ramp over alligators, glass, and hot lava…landing it by ending with a kick flip…”Ho Hummmm, Do something more exciting. Didn’t we see that last year!”

What about special effects with movies,

–the news.

So the first recorded miracle of Jesus Christ could actually be considered the “sleeper miracle.”

“Water to wine? Big Deal! Can’t we buy something now at Wallmart that does that for us…”

Perhaps at the moment it brought a thrill for those who witnessed it, but reading it now is…well…


But wait. Aren’t we told even from Christ himself: “But blessed are your eyes, for they see: and your ears, for they hear. Matt. 13:16 (King James Version)

Do we miss stuff in the scriptures, by waiting for the thrill, keeping our eyes and ears focused so much on the grand finale that we miss parts of the process where perhaps the deeper learning lies. 

I stayed a little longer at that long ago wedding feast thinking about this first miracle wanting to see and hear more… 

I almost missed that the very first public miracle performed was Jesus Christ serving who?

Not the wedding guests…

His mother.

AND although we barely even heard tid-bits about Jesus’s childhood except for that short twelve year old incident, something happened to Mary over those years regarding her son. Something powerful and precious. She believed in Him! I believe that is what instigated this miracle. Not that the guests were thirsty!

Mary knew Jesus had the ability to fix this problem and she had confidence in that belief. Confidence in her son!

From her words to the servants, “Whatsover he saith unto you, do it.” (verse 5)

Jesus’s response to her plea to help in this need seems harsh for our time. “Woman, what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come.” But according to the time, the term “Woman” was an endeared word for the respect and honor of one so special as a mother.

And I wonder, in that quick moment that Jesus Christ’s message to us about this first miracle was not just the phenomenon that water was turned right before their eyes into wine for only those disciples to witness, but it was a confidence confirmed between a mother who loved and honored her son to begin what he came to do.

I know it is time Jesus…

I believe in you.

It was then He began his ministry.

“This beginning of miracles did Jesus in Cana of Galilee, and manifested forth his glory; and his disciples believed on him.” (verse 11)

But before He did, there was a mom who proved her confidence in Him…

From her own words: 

“Whatsover he saith unto you, do it.”

God doesn’t always call on the strong…

Excerpt from Regina Brett:

We’ve all heard the stories.

Elvis Presley once got an F in music and was told to keep his day job driving trucks.

Michael Jordan was cut from the high school basketball team…

J.K. Rowling lived on welfare before Harry Potter made her a billionaire.

Beethoven’s music teacher said he was hopeless at composing.

Winston Churchill flunked the Royal Military Academy entrance exam twice and finished last in his class.

Lucille Ball got sent home from acting school for being too shy…

Thomas Edison was fired twice for not being productive enough.

Babe Ruth held the record for the most strikeouts.

Walt Disney lost his job at a newspaper after he was told he lacked imagination.

Van Gogh sold just one painting his whole life.

Abraham Lincoln suffered from depression, failed in two business ventures, and lost eight elections. Tell that to the Lincoln Memorial.

The failure of those great successes convince me that our weakness is often the flip side of our strength…Our strengths and weaknesses are usually directly related. For the longest time I resisted embracing my strengths because to do so would make me confront my weaknesses. It was a long time before I learned that God can use both. It took me even longer to learn that sometimes God chooses us for out weaknesses, not for our strengths.

I find it a great comfort that, all through the Bible, God doesn’t always choose the strong. He picks the flawed and the weak and transforms them. A person like Moses, [who did not feel he was a good speaker] is chosen to lead people from bondage to freedom. David,[a child was given strength to kill Goliath and later become king], Then there’s Jesus, who included among His 12 closest followers a man who lied to Him, a man who doubted Him, and a man who betrayed Him.

My favorite Christmas passage starts with “Fear not.” Those two words mean God is going to do something powerful with someone weak. I love that moment in A Charlie Brown Christmas when Linus offers to explain the meaning of Christmas to his friend by quoting the Gospel of Luke:

Fear not: For behold I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

I’ve heart it said that we should read the Bible as if we are each of the characters in it. One year the priest of my church, Father Tom Fanta gave a sermon as if he were the innkeeper who closed the door to the holy family on that first Christmas Eve. He acted the part from the beginning to end, from his smug refusal to his shameful remorse.

He said that we are the innkeeper who shut the door and made no room for others. We’re too busy to talk to that friend who is in the middle of a messy divorce. Our lives are too filled to make room for volunteering at a woman’s shelter or babysitting for a friend.

We are those shepherds, busy tending our sheep–our jobs, hobbies, families–afraid when God comes to us, whether in the form of heavenly angels or earthly ones–friends, family, and strangers, or in the shape of problems and crises. We balk when called to go somewhere unfamiliar or somewhere undesired, some detour from our carefully constructed career paths or highly scheduled calendars.

We are like Joseph, who could have quietly left Mary instead of getting into a relationship that might demand more of him than he wanted to give. We prefer the normal, the steady, the predictable–something we can control. We plan our lives and in the planning are careful not to leave any room for God to come in and screw it all up.

We are like Mary, who, first greeted by the angel, was scared. Would we really want God that close? “Fear not,” the angel proclaimed.

What would happen if God called us to something higher. It sounds good–for a second. Until we count the cost. What if it means moving? Earning less money? Going back to school?

When God called Jeremiah, he wanted to decline; he claimed he was too young for the job. Moses wasn’t so hot on being hired to corral the Israelites through the desert to the Promised Land.

A priest once told me he was unsure before his ordination whether he was strong enough to become a priest. Then someone asked him,  Are you weak enough?” Saying yes to God isn’t about being strong, but about being weak and saying yes anyway.

Mother Teresa once said that she wasn’t called to be successful; she was called to be faithful.

If your answer to the question “Are you strong enough to serve? is no, maybe you’re asking the wrong question, Are you weak enough to serve?

Brett, Regina. (2012). Be the Miracle. New York, NY: Grand Central Publishing.

What a job taking off the wallpaper!

Magazine’s, home networks, and electronic sites

encourage us to

declutter, tear down the old, refresh, reorganize…

It is good to do those things.

But not


it feels like your life

is being peeled and scraped off walls

and all the little pieces are put

in the garbage can.

It is strange

that the first photos

sent out of my childhood home

being torn apart

to get ready to

sell is of

my childhood room.

The room that stayed the same…

so all the little children who ever entered

our family home

would have a “toy place.”

Looking at this picture makes me tender!

Layers of my life stripped away to my very beginning

Layers of my life stripped away to my very beginning

This paper knows all my secrets–knows me as me.

 I was first put in my crib right there with those new butterflies to look at.

My parents kissed me goodnight every single night right there.

I learned to pray kneeling beside my bed there by a yellow bed spread.

I played dress up and lined my bed with all my dolls and stuffed animals right there.

I watch the sun rise through my window and would catch the rays in the dust while lying in my bed next to the white sheen wall paper, with my white doggy, Joey warming my feet, and day dreaming of all things a young girl wishes at different stages of her life…right there.

I heard through that very wall, lined with blue stripes, the last breathes of my mother, barely one year ago as I said good-bye for the last time…

Refreshing is good.

I am sure the freshly painted white walls will look very clean and nice.

And someone soon will walk in that freshly painted space and look all around and make some comment about using it for a gym, or office and not have a clue the spirit and life that grew up in those walls

and learned,

and loved,

and experienced


right there

in that tiny little room!

The garbage truck just pulled away with junk and paper inside…can you hear it.

It is gone!

More letting go…

The memories

I will keep inside forever.

Haiku-3 Little Words

photo (1)

don’t forget to say

these three little words to me–

  it makes me happy


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 71 other followers