Ways you can help

We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another.       

  Luziano De Cresceno

A list to answer, “What do I do now,” as a friend.

1. Snail mail Letters or cards make me feel so happy and loved.

2. Send comics/jokes/uplifting short thoughts to me so I can laugh or feel good inside.  I often bring them to treatments, or surgeries to cheer me up!

3. Read and keep up with my blog/ or start and keep my blog because that will help me not have to tell my story over and over again. That is so hard for me. (Look in archives)

4. Set up calendar care (read archive post) This will make life so much easier for me. (This handles meals, childcare, rides, etc.)

5. Make a cross off treatment chart. (look at my blog post for the example)

6. Small meaningful gifts: scarves for cold neck or head, nail polish, pajama bottoms, music, books on tape, magazines, treats, candy, food, mashed potatoes, etc. Serve how you feel most comfortable.  I will appreciate anything.

7.  Go wig/hat shopping together.

8. Bring over surprise comfort foods without too much seasoning. (Burns my mouth) I love bread, soup, mashed potatoes, bland things like rice, smoothies, ice cream.

9. Bring over simple lunch (like soup) and stay for a few minutes depending on how I feel.

10.  Hand or foot massage (with or without lotion)

11.  Don’t try to sell a product to me unless I ask.  I have heard about them all!

12. Look up information for me when I am too stressed to read about it all.

13.  Send or record a sweet…mantra I can say to myself at treatments. I use scriptures from the Bible. Jesus Christ is my master healer!

14. Bring things that can calm my nerves (color book and crayons–this has known calming effects for adults too)

15. Make a quilt, afghan, or pillow case I can take with me to treatments or surgery.

16. If you want to make something for me, I will so appreciate your time as well as the thoughtful gift.

17. Offer your gook-luck charm.  I promise I will give it back. I need your strength to get me through!

18. Flowers always are uplifting.  Be aware of the ones that need care.  I may not feel up to it.

19.  Help me around my home. I will hate to ask but I need help. I have no energy.

20.  Help with my kids schoolwork, extra items I am too tired to deal with.

21. Help fold laundry. Or do my wash.  I will love you forever!  It keeps on coming…

22. Just visit.  (But be sure to watch my signs.  I may be too weak to talk)

23. Go to chemo therapy treatments, doctors appointments, and radiation therapy with me.  I will say no.  DON’T drop me off.  Insist you come in.   I will appreciate having support right next to me even though I present myself as tough.

24. Help drive me to other places, like the grocery store.

25. Shop for me.

25. Stay with me.  Sometimes being alone is not fun.

26. Watch movies with me while I lie on the couch.

27. Plant some flowers in my entryway. I may be too tired to take care of them, but it would cheer me up as I enter my home.

28. Supply warmth.  I am cold.  Cancer makes you cold physically and emotionally.  Warm microwavable rice packs or water bottles would feel lovely.

29.  Go with me to my information appointments.  I may not be able to handle all of the information.  Please take notes for me.

30. Offer to organize my medical stuff.

31. Place a sign on my door that says; ‘Please do not enter if  you are feeling sick, stuffed, or have a cough’  I must keep my home germ free.

32. Offer to keep the supply of hand sanitizer up to date.

33. Make a surgery basket or box that would cheer me up.  I most likely will have scary surgery and I need an uplift. (magazines, candy, card, etc.) Check on me after too.

34. Use your talents that you feel most comfortable to help serve. Someone once came and read children’s stories to me.  I LOVE children’s stories.

35. Do something for a local cancer center that offers ideas to do, for example: Bake for breastcancer, locks of love, shave  your head for…, run or walk for…marathon or bike-a-thon- for…Tell me  you have done for cancer and I will be speechless.

36. Be aware that I may not be myself and may not be able to talk to you during certain times of my treatments. Not because I don’t want to but because I won’t have any energy.

37.  Most of the time my white count is very low, which makes me very susceptible to getting sick.  Please keep your little ones at home. They have more germs that grown ups and don’t know when to cover and cough.  If I get sick it could be fatal.

38. Share music you love that can uplift me.

39. Share thoughts, recordings or stories that can uplift me.

40. Draw with me or for me.

42. I may not be able to read at certain times, but offer a good story.

43. Be a check-er-inner. (look at past blog post)

44. Be a shoulder to cry on.  I need to cry a lot!  Come to stock tissues.

45.  Do not be judgmental.  I am battling more than what is on the outside. I am very sensitive, but cannot be bothered by worrying if I have hurt your feelings.  It is too much for me to deal with.

46. Please take my kids.  I feel so terrible they have to see me like this. Could you do something to help them forget for a little while…

47. Please feed my partner or my family when I am having surgery.  They are so weary!

48. Please don’t think that after all my treatments are done that I don’t need any friends anymore.  I will always have to worry about cancer.

49. Love my animals for me. Take them to the doggy park, or whatever…

50.  Please remember that I am not Cancer.  I am a human with tender feelings.  I feel anger, fear, frustrations, loss, and so many other feelings. I want to have a regular life like you. Let me talk of other things.

51. Send me a text message every week, during treatments, at the waiting room, etc.

52. Send me an e-mail.

53. KEEP REMINDING ME, I CAN DO THIS!  I will get better!

54.  PRAY FOR ME! I need you my friend.

Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another. 1 John 4:11

Advertisements

An idea for a friend of a cancer patient

IMG_2255

 If you would like to do something for a friend going through cancer treatments make up some little baggies of treats that they can bring with them every time they go to the doctor or cancer center.

It does not need to be big. The picture shows tiny bags of about 2 tablespoons of Jelly Belly Beans inside.

Your cancer friend can give them to the valet, to the people who take blood, the ones making appointments, the nurses, the other cancer patients who make them laugh, the doctors, the x-ray technicians, the volunteers who bring them water, the infusion nurses, and so on. 

It is really an uplift to do something for people who are caring for you!!!

It is surprising how much they appreciate the thoughtful gesture, and will give your friend really nice service for doing so.

And besides, if the cancer patient needs a treat they can eat it themselves!  

A little thank you goes a long way.

Giving kindness is healing for everyone.

Kindness Heals

Think kind…

Speak kind…

Do kind…

Feel kind…

Share kind…

Humans need kindness.Version 2

Kindness Ideas with Kids

Random Acts of Kindness

Random Acts of Kindness Week begins February 11.

The News

Dear One,

You just got off the phone.

You have received the news.

News you never ever wanted to hear.

Someone you know has the “C” word.

Or it is you…

You heard it but it could not be real!

It can’t be.

How you must feel…

I know.

I felt it too.

You are numb.  In shock!

You may want to cry.  You may feel nothing.

You may want to hit something or scream out loud.

You put your hands to your face and bow your head.

NO!  It can’t be Cancer!

“What do I do now?”

This is the question to be answered from this blog.

Come sit and let us hold on to one another.

This is not only for the newly diagnosed.

It is for the neighbor who wants to know how to help a little.

A friend who wants to know how to help a lot.

A child who feels something is wrong but does not understand and wants to know what to do.

A husband who does not know how to comfort when he is trying to believe it himself.

A parent trying to make it easier for their child but in shock.

A brother, father, or son who does not know how to talk about it if it is female related.

I am a cancer survivor! I have worked very hard to get through my cancer experience using my own gifts, talents, and survival techniques. I am not a therapist, but I am an expert on living through it.  This is a blog to share simple, uplifting tips and ideas with you and give you an invitation to share any uplifting ideas that helped you get through your journey.

What do I do now on this first day?

Here is what you can do today…

Tip #1:  Be still and stay close to somone!

This is the beginning of one step…

take it slow.

You can do this!

Creating a Ripple

Racking my brain…

My family is at the stage now,

of counting my sweet mother’s breaths…

But I live so far away I could be in mars. At least it feels like it!

I want to be with her for all the last breaths and hold her hand.

She has given me so much, I don’t want her to go.

My mother turns 89 the beginning of Oct.

I want to celebrate her life while she is still with us.

HOW?

Then, I received an angel whisper.

An idea…create a ripple.

Every day for the month of September

leading up to her birthday on Oct. 1st

I am sending

all of her posterity

and brothers and sisters

a Fun Fact about her.

There are over 100 of us.

Everyone has LOVED it! 

Including my mother!

It allows me to do something for her

here on Mars.

It has allowed everyone to know facts about her

they never knew or remember back.

It has created a beautiful ripple

of her life which not only

encircles around her

but

encircles out

to all of us.

Here is a peek:

Grandma trusts all people!

At Ruth and Wade’s wedding reception Ruth told all of Wade’s friends where they were going to spend their wedding night, up in a little cabin in the canyons. That was a mistake! It was common in those days for friends to do a sneak attack on the new couple and knock on windows and yell silly comments. But Wade must have had a good friend who tipped him off. Wade got the last laugh when instead of going to the little cabin, he quickly changed the plans and went to his brother, Keith’s apartment. All his friends went to the canyons…but they weren’t there. Ruth wondered why they didn’t go to the canyons like they planned…

You can still have fun at the end of life….

Come on over…

My dear friends and followers,

I am taking this full virtual-space (Cancer Together; What do I do now?) and add it to my other blog-bowl;

 Have Fun With It

to create a big messy gooey life recipe.

I offer you a spoon and hope you will dip in and take some tastes.

I am excited to also introduce to you a new blog on my passion; Preserving that mysterious and wonderful time called “childhood.” Please take a peek and send others.

 Only One Childhood

This space will stay open offering my hand and heart as a continuous life preserver holding to you as you return back to posts.

You will

find those pieces of HAPPY 

you feel you have lost

buried

under the

cancer brick load.

I understand and acknowledge YOU.

Thank you for allowing me

to hold on to you

as my life saver.

I hope you will continue on my journey and enjoy…

Have Fun With It

Scrambled Egg Time!

IMG_3511

This amazing little container can be a source for great fun besides tummy filling. It fits the palm of human hands so perfectly it makes us want to…

yep, throw it.

I admit,

with my rambunctious, energetic family, I  have actually acted on that thought and have encouraged healthy and legal “egg bombing” activities; particularly around Easter EGG-STRAVEGANZA time!

Some egg enthusiasts create confetti filled eggs and crack them on heads of friends or family for strange satisfaction but this eco-friendly family, date, or friend’s activity is so much more satisfying as you hurl these perfect filled egg sized bombs against trees, over ponds, in fields, out windows, over cliffs, at mountains, at self made NATURAL targets and NOT at people or people’s things!

*There is a disclaimer attached because I am not a biologist and wonder if it could create severe neurosis in birdies when they come to feast the treat and see parts of their cousin’s offspring shells amidst the bird seed. (I hope they have poor eye sight and don’t notice.)

Directions:

Tap the top of the egg until you make a slight hole and dump out the contents in a cup, or bowl to make scrambled eggs later on.

Make a carton or two or three or five.

You will wish you had more!

I promise!

IMG_3512

While you let the eggs dry out in the carton go to your local store and purchase a small bag of bird seed. You probably have left over from the Random Acts of Kindness Date ideas in the past blog posts. (While you’re there get a tiny bag of grass seed for another Easter EGG-STRAVEGANZA activity; the grass-hair growing one)

When you return fill up the eggs with bird seed and place them back in the egg cartons.

Optional you can cover the hole with duct  or masking tape but you don’t have to.

IMG_3513

Isn’t that the coolest little container!

You have now created satisfying eco-friendly egg-bombs that can create some pretty fun memories for you and happy birds, mice, rats, squirrels and chipmunks and sometimes bears.

Then,

Don’t forget to go back to your kitchen which is a playground full of fun full-sensory experiments, messes, gadgets and family/friend/possible significant other fun. 

Whip up the eggs and sit down to a warm meal together. Don’t forget to thank that hen for pushing out that perfect little container..bless her heart…and bumm!

Recipe Variations to regular scrambled eggs

(complimentary of Family Fun Cook Book, Pg, 21)

Cream Cheese and Chives Scrambled Eggs: Melt 1 T butter in saucepan. Beat two eggs together and stir in pan for one minute. Add 1-2 T cream cheese, cut into 1/2 in cubes and 4 fresh  chives, snipped into pieces. Yummmm. I can smell a toasted blueberry bagel with strawberry cream cheese just sittin’ next to this on a dish!

Cheddar Cheese and Bacon: Don’t we do this anyway! Pfff! I don’t think we need directions…(Nuke bacon in the microwave between 2 paper towels for less mess and faster in the tummy)

Cottage Cheese and Dill: Add 1 heaping T. cottage cheese and 2 t. chopped dill to the nearly cooked scrambled eggs. The cottage cheese melts like regular cheese but it is light and creamy. Sooo good!

Tomato and Basil: Toss half a small, diced tomato and 1 to 2 t. chopped fresh basil into your scrambled eggs before serving. Add some cut melon or strawberries on the side, Oh my stomach is growling!

Salsa, cilantro, and sour cream: Mix 1-2 T salsa, 1 t. chopped fresh cilantro and 2 t. sour cream into scrambled eggs while cooking. Serve over warmed tortillas.

Or be silly and add food coloring to your egg mixture and eat your egg- color of choice. 

Remember…

HAVE FUN WITH IT