No one has a clue how utterly painful and humiliating it is to loose all of your hair.
You no longer can conceal your secret because you now show it with your bald head.
I never knew how hard it would be to be a “spectacle.”
What do I do now?
I wrote notes to myself…
“Well, at least I have my dimples…”
Sung to the tune of: Oh where oh where has my little dog gone
Oh where oh where has my lovely hair gone
Oh where oh where could it be?
With my head gone bald
And my nose grown long
Oh where oh where could it be—
Sung to the tune of: Popcorn popping on the apricot tree
I looked in the mirror and what did I see?
A scary bald lady impersonating me.
Cancer has brought me such a weird surprise.
A bald headed person right before my eyes.
I can take an armful of chemo to heal.
Cancer is tough bug that needs to be killed.
I wish it wasn’t so,
But it was you see,
A scary bald lady that’s
Chemo really did make my hair fall out!
I was hoping I would be the exception.
What do I do now?
I put on my best face and made a party out of it with my boys.
All of my boys were part of the shaving party.
They tried all new hairstyles, used gel and army hats.
They even painted my head like the cartoon Avatar.
Then to feel a part of it, they began to shave their heads too.
Finally to top it off, (No pun intended)
I had my best friend fly cross country and finish me off by shaving me razor bald.
It is very hard to loose your hair.
But getting through it ….Laughter can be medicine.
(Secret: I put my hair in a baggy. Often I would pull out my hair from my drawer and hold on to it as if it were a comfort lovey. It was my old life. It was me before cancer. Many tears were shed as I held my tiny locks of hair.)
Yesterday I saw “that look” with one of our cancer sisters as I volunteered with CancerCare. She was trying on wigs and was weary and overwhelmed. I did not know what else to do but to embrace her.
On this precious Easter holiday I leave with her, my entire cancer family of the world and to myself the words of Jesus Christ.
“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. (John 14:27)
Easter is a celebration.
What do we do now?
Celebrate the Savior of the World
who lived and died for us.
I wanted to make my chemo experience “fun.” Inside I was terrified. So I began to write silly songs to sing to my doctor and the nurses who would administer my “clean-o.” (Since I lost my voice singing it made it even more funny!) It cheered me up and the medical staff looked forward to it. One of my songs is still posted in the “poker room.” I shall share as I go along. Remember they are silly.
–just trying to make light of the situation.
Song number one:
Sung to the tune of:
The Adams family song:
Its creepy and its kooky,
mysterious and spooky
It’s all together ooky
My Cancer Family
The place is a museum
When I go in to see ‘em
They help me not to scre-um
My cancer family
So now when I feel freaky
I don’t need to get weepy
They help me all so sweetly
My Cancer family
Sing it loud.
Sing it with your cancer friends!
I believe “the arts” carry with them languages of the soul and I seem to be acutely sensitive to those languages.
A friend told me once that some people were gifted in playing music and some people were gifted in listening. I am the latter.
My angels directed me directly to music when I was diagnosed with cancer. Music began to follow me throughout my days and became my dear friend, staying with me, especially during my alone or frightened hours. I was particularly sensitive to loud noises while I was going through chemo therapy and I could not listen to loud rock or pop. I had my “face the morning music” with Jenny Oaks Baker who’s violin music gave me strength to face the day and faith to trust in God and His plan for me going through this adversity. I listened to children’s up beat music from Disney radio or Disney shows on my chemo days to keep things light because I felt uneasy and afraid inside. I listened to Manheim Steam Roller’s Catching Snowflakes full blast on Radiation Days because to me it didn’t sound like snow flakes but like sunlight and that was how I viewed radiation therapy healing me.
Find music that will heal your heart. Listen to change your mood. Relax and listen. If it enriches you soul then it will be a part of your healing. This is the beginning to what I did with music to help me heal. I will tell more in upcoming posts.
For Friends or family, a really kind gesture would be to gather music that would be comfy for your cancer friend to listen to, especially days when they have treatments or surgeries. It is a great distraction for discomfort and the scaries.
There is power in MUSIC!
There is power in the ARTS for Healing!