Watering the Garden

My mother loved to water her garden.

We had sprinklers.

There were six children, and I know she went outside and watered to have her time alone.

I followed sometimes. She never seemed to mind.

She would use her thumb to fan the water at the end of the hose just right.

I inherited that beautiful thumb!

But it doesn’t look quite as pretty on my freckly white hand as it did on her tan one, always with a long thick fingernail.

She talked to the plants and flowers as she watered.

I heard her.

She would whisper, too.

I asked her once what she whispered, while she watered.

She told me she prayed for each us.

That made me feel safe.

Right now…

I have this need to water.

Not like I have in the past

But like my mother.

I fan the hose with my thumb.

Plants don’t like me as much as they liked my mom, but I try to make friends.

I whisper now too.

I miss my mom.

It has only been five months since she left us behind.

But I can feel her next to me, in the breeze,

as I water.

Watering has now become holy to me…

I hope she still waters in heaven

and whispers about us.


Summer Time Machine

In two weeks I will turn 56 years old.

But not in the summertime!

Every summer turns into a time machine for me and I turn into her…

Our Favorite Place Forever!
Our Favorite Place Forever!

(Notice the fashionable hiking shoes!)

During summer I lick popsicles. I stub my toe, (everyone is expected at least one stubbed toe in the summer), I marvel at fireflies, I thrill at fireworks reflecting off the lake or in peoples’ faces, I find sprinklers to run through on purpose, I nap when I am sleepy. I eat with my fingers then lick them. I get to stay up late and even sometimes sleep in a sleeping bag. I play games. I sit on the porch just because I am hot. I breathe in fresh earth after I have hidden from the thunder storm. I swing on swings. I blow huge Bazooka Bubble gum bubbles and read the comic and fortune. I scratch my mosquito bites. I get dirty and stay dirty.

It’s that drastic aging that happens at the end of summer that I dislike immensely. When I have to come back to my real age again.

Summer is young and fresh, and hopeful.

I am getting in my time machine now…won’t you join me?

I hear the ice cream truck singing already…

c’mon let’s run…

A Tip

Take good care of your Doctor!

It will pay you back!

I have found that little kindnesses towards my doctor and care staff have made a huge impact on my healing process. My Doctor and staff are often tired and overworked and I can tell. Cancer is an emotional profession to deal with each day!  A little muffin, remembering a birthday, or bringing a joke creates a closer bond between me and the person who is caring for me. It takes trust to go through the cancer process. I want the person who is making decisions for me to have a bond with me and know I appreciate them and their service. Besides it’s fun to think about what to bring when you have to go in for a visit.