What a job taking off the wallpaper!

Magazine’s, home networks, and electronic sites

encourage us to

declutter, tear down the old, refresh, reorganize…

It is good to do those things.

But not

when

it feels like your life

is being peeled and scraped off walls

and all the little pieces are put

in the garbage can.

It is strange

that the first photos

sent out of my childhood home

being torn apart

to get ready to

sell is of

my childhood room.

The room that stayed the same…

so all the little children who ever entered

our family home

would have a “toy place.”

Looking at this picture makes me tender!

Layers of my life stripped away to my very beginning
Layers of my life stripped away to my very beginning

This paper knows all my secrets–knows me as me.

 I was first put in my crib right there with those new butterflies to look at.

My parents kissed me goodnight every single night right there.

I learned to pray kneeling beside my bed there by a yellow bed spread.

I played dress up and lined my bed with all my dolls and stuffed animals right there.

I watch the sun rise through my window and would catch the rays in the dust while lying in my bed next to the white sheen wall paper, with my white doggy, Joey warming my feet, and day dreaming of all things a young girl wishes at different stages of her life…right there.

I heard through that very wall, lined with blue stripes, the last breathes of my mother, barely one year ago as I said good-bye for the last time…

Refreshing is good.

I am sure the freshly painted white walls will look very clean and nice.

And someone soon will walk in that freshly painted space and look all around and make some comment about using it for a gym, or office and not have a clue the spirit and life that grew up in those walls

and learned,

and loved,

and experienced

  life

right there

in that tiny little room!

The garbage truck just pulled away with junk and paper inside…can you hear it.

It is gone!

More letting go…

The memories

I will keep inside forever.

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