I still cry

After each and every doctors appointment I still cry.

(Usually its the minute I sit in my car,

but sometimes I can’t hold it back that long- like today.)

It’s a tension release and relief of what didn’t happen

that has happened in my past-

or could have happened in a split second,

and a deep felt thankfulness

that I am healthy in the present.

Once having cancer the effects of it

follows you around the rest of your life.

Unless you have experienced it,

you don’t understand.

But what a relief when you can leave

an appointment just like every other

healthy person.

That is really something to be

grateful for

and hope for if you are not there quite yet!

But it’s okay to cry.

 

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