Tender Message

message to mamma This is true:

I was not there to say good-bye or hold my mother’s hand the night she died. I live too far away. My world inside felt as cold and gray as the weather felt outside. I sat at the window with my head in a fog blinded by the white expanse of the yard smoothed over with layers of cold white snow. Then something picked up my body, bundled it, put on boots as if I were a puppet. I walked out to the yard and instantly knew why I was there. Crunch… crunch… crunch… went the rhythm of my footprints sinking into the snow. The steam from my breath blurred my vision as it mixed with my tears. I wiped my eyes as I  walked and jumped and retraced my sinking steps trying to make the letters big enough to see from heaven! Then I fell in the middle of the crooked heart and cried for my mom–but I caught myself because I worried my neighbors would think I was crazy. So I quickly lied down in the middle of that tiny plot of earth in 16 degree weather on the day my mother died. I made a snow angel,  then walked inside, wet and exhausted. As I entered and took off my coat, I became very angry because this is what I saw from my window…

snow that looked like little feathers...
snow that looked like little feathers…

“NOW MY MOTHER’S LETTER WILL BE FILLED UP AND SHE WON’T BE ABLE TO READ IT!” I said out loud to myself yelling at the snow! My sorrow overflowed and my weary body sunk into the chair. I placed my head in my hands while drips from my boots and tears watered the floor.

As I sat by the window, I noticed the snow lasted only a few minutes and then it stopped as quickly as it came. Then is when I heard a quiet whisper in my mind and it said…

‘Your mother read your snow message and she answered you back sending this beautiful feathered snow in reply, “I love you, too…”

Several blog posts ago there was a picture of my mother’s casket. Swirling all around her, in the wind was beautiful white feathers. This experience is the meaning behind that photo. I wanted to share this thought with you even though it is very personal and tender to my heart.

I believe Heaven is not far away…


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