Tongue-Tied

Humans don’t seem to

  know

what to say

during adverse times.

I admit. I am one of them!

I feel half the time

my foot is stuck

in my mouth!

In my experience with adversity I

have also heard many blunders!

And I am getting

more creative and bold

with my responses!

 

Here’s just a few.

 

1. ” Wow, You look different!”

      “Yes, I haven’t been bald since I was a baby!”

2. “I recently found out I have cancer…”

     “Oh, that’s terrible. My mother died of that! Oh, but I am sure you won’t.”

“Thank you???”

3. “Your coloring is good.”

     “Why thank you, your coloring is good too.”

4. “You look fatter. Obviously chemo doesn’t make you sick.”

    “As a matter of fact, all poison makes you sick but thank you for the compliment. I thought I looked like a concentration camp victim.”

5. “Oh,…I’ll smoke over here so I won’t bother you.”

     ‘Really! You work at a cancer center and you SMOKE? Are you an idiot or what!’

6. “You’re all done!  It’s been really fun!”

     “Yes, lying here everyday, for the past 6 weeks, on a radiation machine has been a real blast!”

7. “Oh, you will just love the cancer center!”

    “Actually, every time I have to go there, I vomit.”

8. “Okay, let’s talk about when we will neuter you.”

    “WHAT!”

9. “You will get osteoporosis, but don’t worry, we can fix you.”

    “Should I say, thank you?”

10. “Did you hear that so and so  has cancer?”

       “Oh, my gosh, that is so terrible. Could you please pass the mash potatoes.”

11. “Okay put your feet in the stirrups. Boy, life has really (flipped the bird..)  you hasn’t it.”

      (with my eyes closed) “Ummm, I guess it has?”

“Okay, then, get dressed so you can resume some dignity.”

12. “I don’t really want to go over to her house just in case it’s contagious.”

13. “My mother was the only one who survived in her cancer group because she took this herb. If you don’t take it, well, you just don’t know what will happen…”

14. “Hey you look great with red hair. Oh, the brunette wig looks even more amazing. Why don’t you buy them both and you can trade off. Go wild with your baldness…”

             “What I want to do is go home and put a blanket on my  head and hide from my life.”

15. “So, you will need to have the works to get rid of your cancer.”

       “The works? Like what?”

       “Everything, but don’t worry, you’ll be fine!”

“Have you ever gone through it?”

        “Nope.”

         “Somehow that doesn’t make me feel totally fine.”

16. “So, Dad has the heredity gene mutation so you need to get the heredity test because there is a 50/50 chance you could have the same mutation. This could save lives in our posterity.”

“Nah. I don’t want to.”

“Really? You have daughters and granddaughters!”

“Yeah, we will just wait and see what happens.”

“That surprises me. Going through it, myself, offers your posterity this gift of information that could save your life.”

“I don’t see it that way.”

I didn’t think you were that stupid and selfish!”

17. “Shhh, here she comes.”

“What’s up?”

“Oh, nothing. Just that your blood count is so low that you need to go home right away and stay away from all germs!”

“Okay, so how do I do that?”

Both doctors look at their shoes…(silence)

Have you ever heard a blunder or been tongue tied with someone going through a rough time?

 

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