I signed up my family for our first cancer walk.
I will be honest, I was hesitant.
I am not a “look at me, I am a survivor” person.
So much effort went into everything, by so many wonderful people.
Everyone was happy and upbeat.
There was a band, balloons, memorials, picnics, families, food, etc.
People wore funny hats and had team names.
All survivors wore different colored leis
for how long you had survived.
Yet I felt on the verge of tears the entire time I was there.
They called all the cancer survivors up to the front
and the band played “We are the Champions.”
I didn’t know anyone there except my family and a few other walkers.
All of the survivors held on to each other, including me.
I held on to total strangers. Yet we were brothers and sisters in adversity.
Tears streamed from my eyes as we all sang in front of the crowd.
For me, it was completely emotional.
It is hard to explain…unless you have gone through…”it.”
It was worth it!
Yet, I still felt strange.
There was this part of me, as I went through the motions,
wishing that I did not have to be counted
as one of those people.
I am grateful to be alive!
I am grateful for life with all of its ups and downs.
I am grateful for such a supportive family.
But sometimes, I wish…